.Sunday, September 30, 2007 'Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
Never say i love you, if you don't really care...
never talk about feelings, if they aren't really there...
never touch a life, if you mean to break a heart...
never say you're going to, if you don't plan to start...
never look me in they eye, when all u tell is lie...
never say hello, if you really mean goodbye.
.Saturday, September 29, 2007 'Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
Feeling weird. Relationship is so difficult to manage. Communication is so tough for two from different ends of the world in thinking. What do we have in common? What can we share?
.Friday, September 28, 2007 'Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
Today came home early after work so went to accompany my grandma. On my way there, tears just flowed down. So sad that they are sending her to nursing home. Very pathetic that when she has so many children and none can take care of her. I guess if not willing to sacrifice to pay for her, what more to ask them to take care of her. Really sad. In a way, grandma makes sense in what she always say. She really leads a difficult life. Never enjoy life and even now at this age, she seems so alone. So sad... cried alot coz of her. Tomorrow they will be sending her there and i will not go with them so today i want to spend more time with her even though i have so much things to do. Sigh. Maybe i cried too much lately and not enough sleep, i have this bad headache for the whole day. No wonder people says your mood affects your health. It does. Feel so drained out and no more strength...
How everyone wish to have someone who loves them the right way without having to tell them how...
.Wednesday, September 26, 2007 'Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
Had a dream of a friend and in the morning, received sms from him. Interesting. My life is back to normal after settling the relationship problems encountered over the weekend. Just debating how many and which subjects to sign up for the next term. Decided not to rush and take more subjects per term in order to graduate earlier because do not want to sacrifice my grades and time. Moreover, balance subjects are mostly third year subjects and i have to score distinction for all of them in order to be able to move on to Honours program. Kinda super challenging when you know that you can only score Distinction. I guess i just have to try my best and if cannot make it, then just settle for postgraduate program. hehe.... contentment...Grandma's dementia condition is getting worse. Turning aggressive and family members are getting very stressed over it. Uncles and aunts are thinking of sending her to a nursing home meant for dementia patients. I guess that is the best solution for the time being. When things happened to our parents then we will get to see the true colors of the children. Who really cares and who does not. I guess times are tough but we will get through. The tough gets going tougher. We continue to grow. After the hardship, we will learn to treasure people around us more and not take things for granted. I pray for strength and wisdom for those who need to take care of grandma and love and patience for her children that they will visit her more often. In times like this, we have to make sacrifices. Sacrifice our personal time and love. If everyone cares a little more to the people around us, this world will be a better place to live in.
.Monday, September 24, 2007 'Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
A relief because test was finally over. But busy period will not end till my exams are over which is late October. Hope that i can pass my test. Anyway it is over and i shall not think too much about it. Now should just concentrate on doing my project. Sad and unhappy when i heard that he bought things without discussing with me. The most frustrating part is that i did sms him asking how are things and reply was only later and after finished the purchases. Did not bother to sms or call me to ask about my opinion. Is that MCP? Dunno... when things go wrong, i wonder why... Am i too perfectionist or am i too particular about things or am i too sensitive? Problem with me is that i tend to think of myself being in the wrong when things went wrong...
I am not feeling so well so pray that God will strengthen my physical body and mental and spiritual health. I just cannot let go some of the things and i pray that God will help me to learn to let go.
.Saturday, September 22, 2007 'Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
Yesterday was such an eventful day. One student got lost after school and the few of us had to do a search for hours. It was so stressful mentally. But thank God that she was found much later. Thank God for Hid protection. But another sad thing is that my car hit the curb and now it is with scratches and plastic guard was dented too. Sad.... but i guess just have to learn to let go. Should learn from the above picture. hehe.... Afterall, car is just a material thing. Kids are more important. The new lights are fixed and they look so nice. Lights really make a difference to a house. hehe....
.Wednesday, September 19, 2007 'Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
Been so busy once again with assignments and project, work, house. Never seems to end. Really got so sick of it that i feel like just going away and leave all the things behind. Really need some personal time. Hmm...beginning to forget how is it like when one is free. haha.... Just saw the draft exam time table. Looking forward to the one week break after exams. Oh man. That will be end of October. Wonder how can i survive till then. haha..... Only by Grace...
.Thursday, September 13, 2007 'Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
This is how my mum and my heart looks like now. Listening to her cries, regrets and apologies made me feel her sorrow. She said she is very sorry for what she had done wrong in the past but she cannot bring back the past. She misses my brother and wishes for his forgiveness. She said she is a useless person. Those statements are like knives cutting bits and pieces off my heart. Tears just flowed down endlessly. How can i help her? What can i do? Can i just know and do nothing? Feel so helpless being all alone to help her... God, may there be forgiveness, unity and love in our family. May you show me the way and how can i help her. May you open doors of heaven to help her. Thank you, Jesus....Wednesday, September 12, 2007 'Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
Above pic was taken by my friend. I like it coz it shows how i am feeling right now.
Back to the usual schedule of at least 3 times of classes per week and with my busy work schedule so i find it tiring. Feeling weak again and like falling sick so praying that God will grant us strength and good health.
Project presentation went on fine that day. I was so nervous when came to my turn. Saw more stengths of my classmate after doing project with her. If only both of us have more time, i think we would have done it perfect? haha... Had a chat with her during lunch time then realised there was a miscommunication earlier on. It was my fault coz i completely forgotten that i had agreed to partner with her even before our lecture. Oh my! I realised my memory is getting worse. What is happening to me? Communication is so important and she is so nice that she did not even raise her voice or scold me at all when it was my fault. But i think she should have clarified it with me coz a misunderstanding like this might drain our relationship without our knowing. Now i see the power of hearing from third party. Lesson to be learnt is to clarify the truth with the person involved directly when there is doubts or unhappiness but i guess everyone hates confrontation. Did a character test on sunday and realised that for my character, i dislike confrontation too. haha.... So i must learn to be assertive and talk things over with people but must learn to be tactful and sensitive. If you know me, you know sometimes i am just too direct and insensitive. haha... I pray that God will change me and be a better testimony for Him. Cheers...
.Friday, September 07, 2007 'Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
Been so busy doing my critique these few days till so tired. Need some things to cheer me up. Glad to be able to chat with my friends to destress. hehe... how to survive without friends? Can't imagine that. Went for class this evening and blur coz tutor went on too fast. Can see that many of us are struggling with data analysis. May the grace of God be with us. But glad to get to know a new friend from the class. Now shall relax for the evening...
.Saturday, September 01, 2007 'Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
. 'Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
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